random updater.

So here I am, been almost a month. But not quite. I keep thinking to myself, "Oh! I should put that in my blog!" "Oh! I'll have to keep this in mind...for my blog." And then I end up being too lazy and easily to distracted to get around to it. Soo... Here I am, updating. Considering prepping further updates, so It'll look like I'm task oriented and prepared, but really I just plan ahead for my laziness. 0.o;;
Any who~
Noticed the interface of the website changed. I'm very unhappy with this. I like it the old way, I didn't change to the new way for a reason. I can't find anything!!!
Sucks.
I've been on this cooking fix recently. I want to learn to cook more from-not-out-of-a-box type foods. So homemade tomato soup! 

It was super tasty. I actually ended up making this because of the random ingredients I had in my fridge. Like, celery, carrots, garlic cloves, onions....and it was an easy recipe. So that helped me pick it too. I'm rather low on money this month. So looking up recipes based on what I already have and limiting what I go out and buy, is rather useful. Though, it is much easier (and cheaper) to just buy cheaper food that is practically pre-made for you.  Very unhealthy though, I've looked into it.
While I was waiting for the soup to slow simmer itself to being done I did this:
This is a Totoro (from My Neighbor Totoro by Studio Ghibli) peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I had it as a snack while making tomato soup. The soup was more lunch for the next few days at work. Tiny sandwich, little details, very tasty. 

And following that I started to work on this!! Totoro chocolates! They are so cute!!! For a first time I think I did rather well with them. 

They'll be better next time. First time is always a learning process. :)
I didn't think of these awesome ideas on my own. I wish I could say I did, but I found them on this awesome website: http://www.annathered.com/how-to-bento/characters/
She has lots of cute How-to's about making different character foods. I found it while looking for croquette recipes and she has one to make them look like Domo. Soo...next week's cooking for fun project has already been decided. I'll let you know how it comes out. Super excited!! But check it out if you're interested. She has all sorts of cool stuff scattered throughout her website. It's pretty nifty.

I know my last post I discussed my gardening. I finally got around to uploading the pic of it from my phone: 

Of course this is it before I planted anything or put the fence up around it to keep the dog out. (It's not my dog, it's my house-mate's.) Oddly and shockingly enough it's coming along rather well. I haven't killed anything off yet. Lol! Though the seeds haven't had too much time to grow yet, but I did buy some plants already grown and blooming, and they're doing okay. I worry that they don't get enough sun with how the yard is set up, but I'll be moving this summer, so not much I can do about that. :(

And also interesting thing I did this month: Played Disk Golf. I didn't believe it was a real thing the first time it was mentioned to me. It's real, and it's pretty fun too, regardless of if you're any good at it or not. My right arm and shoulder muscle's were so sore the next day though. Definitely not used to using them like that. XD
Odd thing though: the disk golf course is literally right next to a waste facility plant. 0.o Thankfully enough I didn't get random bouts of turd smells while playing. Luck was with us that day. Though on the list of interesting ideas for mail boxes I think they have the right idea with theirs.

Hilarious!! We were taking pictures of it and a person was driving out of the waste plant and he stopped, rolled down his window and said to us, "That wasn't my idea, just so you know."
Then he drove away.  Random, but funny. I got a kick out of it.

Lastly: before I end this for today, I beat Mass Effect 3!!! I'm about a month or so behind everyone else, but I did beat it. I understand people's upsetness with the endings, and I think next post I shall discuss this further.
And to help with my research I read the Official Mass Effect 3 Guide book. It was insightful, but not extremely helpful. But there are 8 endings involving the three endings you hear people talk about. Just keep that in mind.
And male Shepard and Kaidan forever!! <333 I can't believe you got to romance him as a male. *sparkly eyes*
*ahem* Like I said, next post. We shall discuss. >:D

Springtime Gardener

So, got out of the habit of posting. That happens a lot. Oh well. I've been keeping busy and doing well. Dealt with some weird moments in February, but that seems to have passed. Though, maybe it just feels like a long time ago because I haven't stepped foot into work for two weeks. Which has been heavenly. I seriously want another job.
But those are unhappy thoughts that lead to things like my previous post. Which then I don't post for months again. But honestly, I had to stop posting, the wrong kind of attention was being drawn, and it was....weird. Borderline creepy. I won't say more until more time passes. (ooh, cliff hanger).
However, I have started a new hobby, that is EXHAUSTING!! At least it was today. I started my first garden. Granted, I have a tiny backyard, so a tiny garden it is. But it was shockingly cheap, and really fun, relaxing in some ways. I enjoyed it. I planted a mixture of flowers. It'll be nice if I have a larder yard one day and I can have a vegetable garden. My boyfriend and I can enjoy that together. =^_^=
As I was digging into the dirt I happened to notice that about three inches down, there was a two-three inch layer of sand in my yard. So for the sake of not wanting dead flowers I dug it up.
All of it.
And put the top dirt back, and the sand in a pile by the fence.
So that's really random looking, but I don't know what to do with it. So there it stays. All that was growing by that fence was moss anyways. I just hope that the flowers get enough sunlight to bloom. The way the yard it and the fences are, it might be hard. So I'm thinking of this as my trial garden. I have said my good byes to the plants in case they don't make it.
So I spent hours doing that today. My roommates dog was out there playing around in the dirt, and plants, and eating grubs (ew). So she had a bath before she could come in and run around. I was very dirty too, some of it was of my own design (sitting in the dirt, for example), some of it wasn't (Abby jumped all over my with her muddy paws). But I enjoyed today a lot.
BUT I'M SO TIRED!!!
It's a good tired though. A contently tired. :)
Makes me wanna plant more gardens. >:D
If my flowers survive I'll post pictures. Don't get your hopes up, just in case.
I'm going to go pass out now. I have work tomorrow, its a new schedule too. Day shift, night shift, 48 hours off. At least 96's will be easy to fit in, though like always, we'll never get more than exactly 96 hours off, and the day crew will get their 120-something hours. Extremely lame favoritism there. I do not like it.

laughing. (Updated since original posting)

So I'm updating simply because I've been forgetting to, but mainly because I've felt hesitant about topics to post about, but since the people I work with spent FOREVER trying to find it online I'm confident that it is indeed unsearchable. So that makes me happy. I've officially deleted myself from the internet. Yay!
So I shall now laugh at them as they admit their defeat and go back to their mindless shift activities. I should be doing homework, or reading chapters, but don't really feel up to it, ever. -_- Cannot wait till I'm not longer a college student. I mean, I'll miss it I'm sure, but working full time and being a student sucks. I hate homework.
Speaking on the douchebags on shift (they call themselves that, so I don't feel bad continueing the reference), these dudes have the biggest issue admitting their own narcissism. I'm not the best at spontaneously speaking my mind unless I've had a change to fully formulate my thoughts. So often times things come out...odd? I don't know, but I make sense to myself and thats good enough for me, but explaining to others is a pain. But THESE GUYS...they think everything has some sort of reference to them. Or another marine. I know its them giving shit, but as much as a joke turns into a no-shit-rumor I don't appreciate nearly as much as I do their other jabs. Saying I'm secretly trying to get with anyone burns me up, and they think its funny because I sit there and laugh and shake my head, and I'll tell them they're fucking wrong. But really, it's not always about you or some other marine you know. You'd think these people would know me enough by now to know that over my dead body will I even consider another human being worth even touching. Honestly, the thought makes me want to puke. Something about the person...I guess you could say an aura of sorts, is really unsettling and just churns my stomach. Maybe it's because I'm so anti-whore/slut/cheater/whatever, but still. I don't even appreciate hugs, and while high-fives are cool even those feel awkward at times. Maybe its because I'm not used to human contact like that, but still. It takes quite a bit for me to muster up a hug even for people I've known for a while.
And call me Cassie one more time fuckers...I'll knife you.
(DISCLAIMER: I won't really knife you, it's just fun to say)
But these guys poke fun at everyone for everything, even if it isn't true at all. Shits just fun to say. So I won't be all freaked out and weird when they say something that is blatently obvious its false and a joke just because I vomit nonsense on occasion. But sometimes I honestly don't know how to react back, and laughter is always worked for me, so it shall continue.
Say what you want, you won't make me cry.
(oh man, I think I just issued a challenge...0.o;; )

....continuing on....

I've been trying to find any sort of motivation still to do anything Marine Corps related. I think slowly my will to learn and work is coming back. But not very much. I've managed to see the bright side to my boyfriend getting put in CT and I don't think I have to worry about going to Japan again. So that's that.

But I would like to discuss other de-motivators that exist out there. I feel like I can't really hate them, because I'm not interested in anything USMC very much either anymore, never was actually, straight out of boot camp I had the "bleh" mindset. BUT-no matter how much I understand their feelings I still feel and intense dislike for a majority of them, because as much as I don't care I feel like I'm still considerate of my surroundings. I understand the Marine Corps, and my office especially now, stresses teamwork and the failure of one is the failure of all. So I put in the effort to at least keep life comfortable, mostly for me, but it helps everyone else too.
So when I see people who joined, who had some idea that the Corps was supposed to be hard and then they are the biggest dirtbags who have been fat since they joined and all they do is fuck up, and don't give a shit about the simplest rules to follow it irks me. It's not that hard to do your job properly. There is an order or and LOI for everything, so you don't really need to worry about knowing what you should or shouldn't do. Some rules are stupid, some we ALL ignore, but to blatently just fuck up and when told "hey don't do that" think you can rely on the fact people in the office like you and think you're a chill person is going to keep you from getting in trouble. Fuck that asshole. You shouldn't be getting paid the same as me, reaping the same benefits if you're not going to try at all. Just because you signed a contract and you can't be fired doesn't mean you don't have your share of shit coming. Someone will be fed up with you one day. And you'll go down. And when you're out of the Corps and you realize the rest of the world won't put up with your shit as much because they don't have to you'll realize your mistake. And it'll be too late. So have a nice shitty life, because that's were you are going. No where.

Whew~ Done with that.
Moving on...next topic....
I said I wanted to cover trust, but I almost don't feel like it. We all know how trust works and how it doesn't work. You learn it as a child and grow up using it and abusing it. My problem is I have a bad habit of slipping into the habit of being too trusting. Even when I know better, it's nicer, easier, makes me feel good inside. But it is almost always a mistake when it comes to Marines. But apparently I live with one of the biggest two-facers I've every known. I hate to say it, I like to try and forget it, almost forgive it. But then she opens her mouth, and vomits out her lies and deceit. THEN I remember. What is sad is I've confronted her about lies before, she'll keep lying. And when she admits her lie, she'll just tell more after.
BUT
she would prefer if I have a problem with her I tell her about it....last time I did that I "ruined her day" she "ended up breaking down at work" she is sorry that "she isn't the most perfect roomate in the world, but for me...she'll try harder"
Fuck that.
As much as I have to remind you like a child to clean up after yourself, to turn off lights you don't use. Apparently you don't care what I think, so why would I continue to repeat myself. If letting it slip to you through a grapevine makes it sink in, then that's what will happen.

Don't let it sound like she is the only example I have though, the list is endless. Pretty much covers almost everyone I know at the moment, excluding aquaintences and friends from Missouri. But in the Marine Corps I think secretly they brainwash integrity out of you, but let you and the rest of the world think that the Corps has the highest integity. That is shit that just looks good on paper.
I know another person who can't even admit the truth to themselves. People like this do exist around me, it's almost pathetic. Like the stupid shit people do and say and then try to cover up. They're so desperate for awkward sorts of attention is really all I can imagine it is. But I've definitely asked before, because I hear the rumors and I would rather ask the source than speculate and gossip on. But apparently the gossip is way WAY more accurate than the source itself.
Lesson learned, pretend to trust and believe and care, but always keep in mine, they're a liar, any credibility they have is gone. So it's like a very loooonnngg fictional story you're partly living out.
But I feel bad for them, and I'm nice to them, and I'll be there for them, because if I ever end up that miserable hopefully karma helps and someone will try, multiple times, to tell me I'm being a moron and I need to grow up and stop lying. >.<
However, if I had the opprotunity I wouldn't associate with people who lie to me 24/7. But since that mostly who is around here I'll deal.
If you can't be with the people you love, love the people you're with? Or some shit like that.
I just pretend my life is some weird anime, full of interesting characters, some with deep backstories and other who exist just to linger in the background and make me look good. :)

yea~~

de-motivated.

It's true. I have no motivation for anything USMC related at all. Once upon a time I did. I remember it in shame almost.But it boils down to not that I don't like doing anything, but I don't like the way its done, or I don't like doing it with other people -ahem- Marines.
I'm actually feeling so down in the dumps today I deleted the halfway finished post I started. It wasn't conveying what I wanted to say properly. I'm not the greatest with words. I always need to really formulate my thoughts in order to understand where they're going.
Basically 2012 is starting out as a shitty year. If it continues in this trend I'm doomed. Hopefully it won't though.
I started this post to talk about the Marine Corps. Now I've realized I'd rather not at this moment. Maybe tomorrow when I'm better rested I'll organize my thoughts more precisely.
But in other news my boyfriend of over 2 1/2 years is moving. He received his orders finally. Which I was looking forward to up to now. I figured out of all the choices he put down that hopefully we'd be able to close the distance between us a bit.
Not at all. That was all just dreams a butterflies.
Instead he gets to move to a college town up North. A very prestigious college. Not that he's the type of guy to go out and party it up with strange girls. (Even though according to some people I work with I've already lost him to some hot chic who is smarter than me and we just don't know it yet) I don't like the idea that there will be more females around who might catch his eye.
I've noticed from all the males I work with, apparently no matter how devoted you are, you still check out other women intensely. That thought bothers me, because apparently I'm out of the norm of human beings in that I don't look at other people in that way. I don't feel an attraction to other human beings. I can't look at a guy or girl and be like, "yeah he/she is hot". I've never been able to. Ever. When someone points out some one and makes a comment I look and shrug and continue on.
So maybe I am weird? There's something wrong with my chemical makeup? I don't know.
People just make me sick, overall. Maybe because I've dealt with enough of the type of person I despise. But yet somehow I'm too trusting.
Speaking of being too trusting...that will probably be the topic of my next post. I feel like I have a lot to talk about this week. So I might update more often. I just don't want to make these too long.
I'm going to go play Dead Island now. Which is an amazing game. I'm not THAT great at it, but I enjoy nothing more than spending time with my boyfriend online. Since we don't live in the same state this is the best we have right now. We make the most of it. :)

suicidal PT planner.

So, skipped posting last week. My bad. Nothing really occurred to me to get on here and post about. However I have a topic now, and that's really what's important. Right? 0.o;;
So...as the title shows....suicidal PT planner... Looking at the schedule I'm making for myself to try and be epic by the time the PFT runs around I should probably consider talking to a Chaplain. Because I might die from this. Not because it's anything crazy, but just because its ME doing this plan.
If I manage to stick to it. Like I said, I could die, or ya know...just not do it. I'm good at making plans and then deciding I'm not feeling it. I do it all the time. But here is my current plan for the next few months:

Week	Mon.	Tue.	Wed.	Thu.	Fri.	Sat.	Sun.
1	Off	3M	3M	3M	Off	2M	4M
2	Off	3M	Gym	2M	Off	2M	5M
3	Off	3M	Gym	3M	Off	3M	4M
4	Off	3M	Gym	4M	Off	3M	6M
5	Off	4M	Gym	3M	Off	3M	5M
6	Off	4M	Gym	3M	Off	4M	6M
7	Off	4M	Gym	3M	Off	4M	5M
8	Off	4M	Gym	3M	Off	4M	6M
9	Off	4M	Gym	4M	Off	4M	5M
10	Off	4M	Gym	3M	Off	4M	6M
11	Off	4M	Gym	3M	Off	3M	5M
12	Off	Gym	3M	Off	Off	2M	DONE!

And So that's that...Now granted I've decided that if I'm horribly sore in the legs from playing sports or an epic run previously done I'll switch a run day to a gym day. I'm not a big fan of PTing more than once per a day. I feel it's pointless. But I do want to still work on being able to do pull-ups one day, but since it's not required of my now I need to focus on increasing my speed while running.

I started this schedule this week. Which is why I think I might die from it. I ran 3 miles this morning. Or close to it anyways. I actually had to stop twice during the run because of the intense PAIN I was feeling in my abdomen. Now when I run, I have, ever since joining the Marine Corps, experienced this horrible horrible pain while running. It's not side stitches. I know what those are and how to deal with them. This is a different pain. It's closer to my diaphram, sometimes, like today, it's more to the right, above my floating ribs. It feels like something inside of me is trying to explode outwards.
I have no idea what it is, and everyone I've ever mentions it to just says, "it's your breathing." or "you just don't run enough."
Which is WRONG! Trust me, two years into this I've done a billion different breathing ways and my fair share of running.
But the pain is crippling. If I take deep breaths, like I'm trying to make myself hyperventilate, it lessens. Or if I can distract myself slightly from it, that helps. But once I reach 1 1/2-2 miles thats when it starts and proceeds to get worse till I stop running.
And dear god...If I haven't drank a gallon of water in the past 24 hours... Something I discovered too. I have to practically over dose on water in order to be able to run at all.
My body is really strange.
And I didn't drink hardly any water yesterday, so that didn't help this morning either.
I always try to PT first thing in the morning, I know I should try to do it later, like late evening, because I'm so tired afterwards I'm useless for several hours.
Most people are like, "Wow! I worked out this morning, super early before work, it was so energizing and it really helped me make it through the day!!"
I don't know what workout you do, but mine exhaust me.
and on an ending side note: I still want to play tennis, badminton, or hell even racket ball. I want to take a racket and hit things with it. For realz.

sore muscles.

Played soccer today. Something that I haven't done in forever. I can't remember the last time I played to be exact. It was a bit windy, so at first everyone tried to be pussies about it, but SSgt was not about to let that go down. Though volleyball would have been fun too. I am glad I went outside and played soccer, I can't remember the last time I had that much fun playing a sport...with the office even. :P I didn't get the ball a lot, but I did enough to throw people off their game to get them to make sloppy kicks. So I was proud. And I discovered sprinting back and forth isn't so bad when you don't think of it as sprinting. I definitely ran myself into the ground for no real reason at all other than to make sure I got a good workout during this. And I did, I'm sore all over. Even my back is sore and that confuses me. My arms are okay, you don't use those during soccer. (haha) So playing a fun sport I enjoy is something I'd like to do more often. I think if I did play soccer more I'd be better at running, because I do take bigger steps and move pretty quickly up and down the field. But when I'm running just to run I tire out way more quickly and take tiny baby steps. It's gay. Taking big steps is just tiring, I feel like I'm in a constant sprint, which I don't sprint far or for long. It's a losing battle every time.
Though I've decided I want to play badminton. I don't know why, but that's always a fun game. I'd like to try tennis, but that's only because I've been watching this anime (Prince of Tennis) and it makes tennis look like the most epic thing ever. So I need to try it so I can break through this delusion I have in my head about it. I know, I'm pathetic. But it's awesome. :P
I didn't really have a true topic for this post, I just want to keep to the once a week update thing. I took the time to make this, might as well post on it.
Though a thought I did have about soccer...people who showed up, who knows why, maybe they felt obligated because their peers would be there (and by peers I mean the people they live with), but hardly played at all. And then left! I was actually disappointed, but I guess like basketball isn't my thing, maybe soccer isn't theirs. It was a good game in that everyone was able to get involved at some point or another, and definitely more than once. But those who don't bother to play and give up are the ones who don't even try to get involved, who make it a waste of time. If I'm there I want to get something out of it, even if it is stupid basketball and all I do is sprints back and forth on the court.
I did discover there is a raquet ball court here though, so that might be worth investing some time into. I've played it a few times. I sucked horribly, but it was fun. Worth playing some more to better myself at it.
On a side note: Being here still sucks. I miss being on leave. I dread every minute I'm at work because I'm waiting for the Marine Corps to do something to add to the unhappiness of my life. Like give me unnecessary orders, or send me to stupid courses. I don't like the build up to every work day is dreading what I might be walking into. It's dumb. Life shouldn't be like that. Unfortunetly that's how people make it. *sighs* At least I work a weekend shift this time. I'll probably try and do some weather studying. I feel like I'm forgetting a lot of the finer facts I used to know and just do everything the easy way as of recently. Probably has something to do with my resolution of "Don't care" attitude. But I still want to be good at my job and be that one step above the majority. I don't know why. I just don't like to be looked down on at work. No matter the job. I'm here and I'm going to do it.
The end.

drunken ideas

So Happy late New Years all. I hope you had even close to as fabulous of a time as I did.
Turns out it was a very good thing I was out of town for that particular holiday, it sounded like everyone here had a horrible time. At least those who were partying with my housemate anyways.
Spent the last week in my hometown, USA. Hanging out with people I actually want to be around all the time. It was amazing, I forgot what it was like to not force conversations out of myself, or to be natural, not awkward feeling, or that everything I say and do will be used against me next week. Loved it.
I can't wait till I never have to come back to this job or base, or put my hair up in a friggin' stupid bun ever again!!
But on to the topic of my post:
Drinking games.
Oh yeah~
My brilliant idea for new years to start off and get everyone tipsy was to do a movie with drinks.
Movie: Gladiator
The Game (which we all just lost): Apparently there isn't an actual Gladiator drinking game available online. All of them are pretty much "DRINK EVERY TIME SOMEONE DIES!!" Which means you could go through two bottles of whatever in the first scene alone. and then you'll die.
So here are the rules that we came up with (and we're looking for more if anyone has any good ideas.
1. Drink every time someone says, "Maximus"
2. Drink every time someone says, "Ceasar"
3. Drink every time the emperor gives a thumbs up or down
4. Every time Maximus goes on a soliloquy about honor
5. to be continued....

any contributions? They're welcome. Thank you.