Battle for Net Neutrality.

Imagine all your favorite websites taking forever to load, while you get annoying notifications from your ISP suggesting you switch to one of their approved “Fast Lane” sites.
Think about what we would lose: all the weird, alternative, interesting, and enlightening stuff that makes the Internet so much cooler than mainstream Cable TV. What if the only news sites you could reliably connect to were the ones that had deals with companies like Comcast and Verizon?

This is important people! Please share and please sign the petition. Net neutrality is a very important issues of our time and its easy to fight back and do just a little to help.

Back to schooler.

Well, it has definitely been a busy week for me. School started this week, and I'm way to motivated about it. I've already done almost two weeks worth of school work, just this week alone. My goal is to get half a month to a month ahead in school work and stay there. That way there is no stress if I get distracted or something happens and I can't do work for a few days.
All my classes are online, so that's how I'm achieving this. I honestly don't think I could go back to standard classes, with long lectures and tons of homework. I'd rather be assigned the readings, that way you know the text books you're buying are worth it, and write papers. I'm at the point where I try to avoid classes that have mid-terms and final examinations. I'd rather there be a long paper at the end of the semester over everything I learned. I think that shows more of my breadth of knowledge then some multiple choice test, and memorizing dates and begging for study guides.
The classes I'm taking are Terrorism, Women and Social Action and the Sociology of Work. Very interesting semester indeed. 

I've also done a bit of reading recently too. I read the entire Traitor Spy Trilogy by Trudi Canavan. If you haven't read it and you like a good fantasy series I highly recommend it. It was captivating, and told a great story. I'm now going to read more of her books, because I really like the world she set up for her stories. It's impressive.










I also read The Goodly Spellbook by Dixie Deerman and Steven Rasmussen. I read it pretty much in one day. I liked the writing style, it was very informal, but not all attempting to be sparkly and ooh the audience. The book cover's a wide range of history, as well as their personal experiences and growth in the world of magic. I like how the book also covered sigils and went into detail about the moon phases and planets. Though I think they went more indepth on the planets than moon. Which was nice, because I hadn't ever studied much on that. The spell section didn't have as much in it as I thought it would, given the title of the book. And some of the spells require a lot of ingredients. Then, like all spell books, some of the spells I pondered if they were even real (and worked). I sometimes wonder if pagan authors throw in fake spells just to keep people on their toes. But I overall am pleased with my purchase due to that it wasn't a basic 101 book, I'm a bit tired of those. I've read quite a bit of them over the years. But yet I'm not quite ready to just do my own thing yet. I feel like something is missing...

The book I'm going to start next is Mythology by Edith Hamilton. It was a bit difficult to pick a mythology book to read, there were a few I wanted. But I think this is a good start for now. I didn't read any reviews on this before buying it, but the cover says, "Classic best seller". So it can't be too bad. :P


I'm a bit tempted to actually start writing decent reviews of all the books I read. I might not publish them all, but it would be something fun to do. And maybe in the writing of the review I'll come to a few revelations that I didn't get from just going through the book. I remember in high school we used to do literary analysis of books we read. Most students hated it, but if it was a book I was interested in, I loved it. Mainly because a lot of things that occur in stories I just take literally. I don't expound upon the symbolism or hidden meanings of a lot of things. Or how it reflects things that happened in history or societies views. So in doing a literary analysis I felt like I was understanding the story better, and the intent the author had in the book.
And I might just be too stupid to understand things on my own. I don't know.

Arm-Chair Pagan.

Well, here is my next. Looks like it's going to be another discussion post.
Ewwww, I'm sorry.
I did do a few projects in the past week, I'll share those in a post eventually. I wanted to talk about something that's been on my mind recently.
My religion?
I am, by no means, a 'religious' person. I am not extremely devout, I am not strongly opinionated overall and I've always had a list of reasons why.
5-10 years ago my reasoning was that my parents didn't approve, I didn't have the money to buy the things all the beginner books say you need, and I rarely had any free time.
After high school, I briefly spent time in college before joining the Marine Corps. And then it was a matter of me not having anywhere to practice, or being too exhausted from all my training.
Over the years I've slowly collected objects that I use on my altar.
And except for two years in the past ten years, I've always had some sort of altar set up. Most of the time it was merely meditational. When I was in Japan I started making it seasonal, or for the different holidays.
But I never devoted the time I felt I should to be able to call myself Pagan.
Like celebrating the moon cycles, the sun cycles, spending time connecting with deities, or even doing simple spells. I've done some circles here and there, a few ceremonies. I've wrote my own rituals, joined some pagan forums, but I don't avidly practice.

And for some reason this makes me feel guilty, like a christian skipping church.

One of the facebook groups I'm a part of and read regularly, once used a term called "Arm-chair Pagan" to essentially describe people who read lots of books, but don't actually do anything.
It was a knife through the ribs, almost.
I do my share of internet research, I own a few books, I have an altar I take care of and use, but am I an 'Arm-Chair Pagan'?

One of the big things that I always find myself stopping at is the connecting with the Gods. I thought about it for a while, meditated on it intensely, and I believe I am a hard polytheist.
 I read Scott Cunninham's Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner. And in the book he says something similar to that Gods and Goddesses are complimentary, equal to one another. They can be named or nameless.
I understand that a God and a Goddess are equal, and that there are people who worship a 'God' and a 'Goddess', and then there are those who have specific deities they worship. But one of the things I thought about after reading that was are all Gods and Goddesses separate beings who who reigned originally over their part of the world, spreading out as ideas and concepts where shared culture to culture? I've always believed in multiple Gods, but just narrowing it down to two seems like cheating, being lazy. Unless it is more of a simple way of honoring all the Gods at once? You're not saying literally there is only two (Unless it's as if it is the aspects of them you're worshiping).
You are honoring "The Gods" male and female who watch over you. Until maybe one day they name themselves to you...
Though the phrase still makes me pause. Two perfect lovers, in harmony and spiritual parents to us all. It's a nice thought, but it feels more of an idea, a wish. But ideas hold real power. So perhaps we shall see. Maybe the "Gods" and "Goddesses" are the power from which all Gods come. The Ultimate ones. All other deities come from them. So they are part of, but separate?
The possibilities are endless.
Some discuss that the different deities are aspects of the single  God and Goddess. Different views of them, like personalities. Pantheons or deities, all separate, but make up the ultimate. 

See my problem? I get caught up in the strangest details. Here I am writing an essay on the origin of Gods and if they are truly the same or different. Because when you look at the pantheons you see the same ideas over and over again. Are they the same deities with different names based on culture? Or are they individual beings?

And then most eventually have their patron deity. I don't even know where to start with that. I can't even pick a pantheon I was to initially focus on. So I just go with a generic God and Goddess approach. It works (I think?).

But to do magic you don't have to use the specifics of Gods. There are witches who practice magic, but don't consider themselves to fall into a catagory of pagan (Such as wiccan, druid or so on). They are practitioners. The whole saying about how not every Wiccan is a Witch and not every Witch is a Wiccan, you can be one or both. That's where that comes into play.

But then the things I do throughout my day could be considered part of my beliefs. I say affirmations, I meditate (think hard and focus) on ideas and problems, I have good luck charms, I believe in cleansing areas, I do a bit of energy work here and there, grounding myself when I feel jittery...
But I don't think about it as "Oh! I'm doing pagan things!" To me that's just part of my life and how I do things.

So am I not an arm-chair pagan after all?

Do I over think things? (yes!)

To be honest, I've considered just giving up on the whole "Having a religion" thing. Just call myself agnostic and go about my life, being a good person. But I can't. I had my entire Marine Corps contract as an opportunity to do that, and I can't. I always get drawn right back in, or feel like something is missing from my life.
I guess you can't help some things about yourself.
But I don't think the negative things picky people say should make me feel guilty because I don't come out of the woodworks to celebrate the Sabbats (they have a name for people who just do that too), and I don't do divination every week, and have a fancy collection of Wiccan things.

I do things in my own way, however small, or grand I choose. I do have a life of chaos to live. And I hope others who struggle as I did to overcome those thoughts and feelings don't get deterred (Or attacked on a forum).

What things have other's struggled with throughout their time, I wonder?
I mean, I've been a student for ten years, but I feel as if I'm just a child at this, which I suppose is normal. We are talking about something literally beyond my scope of existence.

Litha

Anti-Substance abuse

So since I was vacationing all last week I didn't have anything planned for this post. Considered writing about my vacation, but changed my mind. It was great, Maine is gorgeous, and when you go to a small town in Canada for just one night the guys at the border checking passports will be very suspicious of you. XD
I decided I wanted to discuss my view on drugs and alcohol. Which sometimes I wonder if they're really even MY views. I've known a lot of people who, as teens, pretty much had their life drastically changed by the choices they made. Which seems like a "Duh" statement to make. But I almost said, "Ruined" instead. I don't think they see it that way though. But the people they hung out with, the drugs they did, the drinking they did, and the decisions that results from their actions isn't something they always look back proud on. Seeing the difference between how their lives are and mine, when the difference between us is that I chose not to do drugs, I stayed in school, I felt too uncomfortable being in close proximity to the other gender, that I never really "dated" until the end of high school, and as dissatisfied with my life as I am and I look at theirs....I feel very satisfied with my life.
I still talk to those people, just not very often anymore. But they admitted all the drugs and drinking they did ruined their brains. I can tell just from our conversations they're different. They repeat things often, easily forget conversations or things I've already told them, get confused easily and don't understand a lot. But as adults, I'm pretty sure they just pretend. Or make things up to fill in the gaps.
I think being close to these people who went through drastic changes in their youth made my stance on drugs as extreme as it is.
I loathe drug abuse.
And most drug use. I'm talking even something as simple as weed. Stoners irritate me, and the fact its becoming acceptable in most states frustrates  me.
But once upon a time alcohol was an illegal substance, and I enjoy that today. So I can't be totally judgmental about it. 
So honestly I wonder if its because I grew up with "Alcohol is okay, weed and all other drugs aren't." so instilled in me that shaped my beliefs to this day.
So the generation that grows up in a society with legal marijuana will treat it the same as how I view alcohol?
Granted I don't enjoy drinking till I pass out, I don't drink more than maybe once a month, and I don't like being around people who drink because nothing is fun unless their drunk.
So...that covers a lot of people my age's weekends, that I wouldn't want to be a part of.
Another interesting tidbit: I abhor cigarettes, but I'm okay with cigars....
Maybe because all the hype with cigarettes and you never hear about cigars?
Perhaps because I've spent so much time being forced to be with groups that smoke cigarettes all the time, but cigar smoking is more of a special thing, on occasion?
I don't know.
But I guess all things in moderation are probably okay. Except for hard drugs. Those will ruin your life. Being an addict to anything is a life ruiner if you can't control yourself or the addiction. Even worse if you don't recognize you have a problem.
I do believe though that people addicted to drugs shouldn't be treated as criminals (unless they are), but they should be treated as a medical problem and given help, forcibly.

So that's my pointless post for the week. I'll try to do better next time, have something interesting, maybe a project? :D

But I'm curious what other people's views are on drugs and alcohol, substance abuse, criminalizing it, or not, and why?
Granted no one reads this, but if you do, ever, anytime in the future, feel free to chime in. I'm always up for having my views enlightened or changed.

Future Seer.

Not much going on, my in-laws are visiting for a fishing trip and traveling the New England states (There was a mention of going to Canada?). So this is just going to be a discussion post.
I like taking time and looking back and comparing it to where I am now. Ten years ago when I imagined my life as a 25 year old it was nothing like how my life actually is now.
But honestly I think the majority of that change as to do with my decision to join the military. Which was something I never considered doing. I was raised with the thoughts of: "When I graduate high school I'm going to college, I will get degrees in things and then get a job."
My biggest challenge was the realization that I had no idea what I actually wanted to do as a career. Even as a teenager I knew my limits and what I was capable of, as well as how hard a job might be success-wise.
I wanted to be an astronaut, a psychologist, political leader, teacher, geneticist and so on.
I knew I was going to be none of those things over the next few years because:
Astronaut school is hard, and I'm probably not smart enough to get in.
Psychology is great, but being an actual psychologist would not be where I ended up, I'd most likely need to use my degree in another field, and I don't think I'm smart enough for a doctorate anyways.
I could never be a political leader because I don't care about ALL politics.
I couldn't become a teacher because everyone is doing that, and teaching degrees are only good for the state you get them in. I don't know what state I'm going to live in when I'm an adult. I need to be able to work anywhere in the country.
And genetics was once again a smart thing.
I'm not dumb, by any means. I am definitely above average (I've been tested multiple times for special programs), but if I'm not interested in learning it, or comprehend all of it I have issues.
Most degrees and jobs require a lot of, essentially, useless classes.
(#1 reason I won't get a degree in Meteorology even though that's been my job for years now)
But if I have to take a million math classes, or science classes I'm not interested in I won't learn it. I enjoyed chemistry, but I struggled a lot in all my chemistry classes. I couldn't imagine struggling in a class I don't care about. 
And we're talking about my thoughts as a 15 year old.
So now as a 25 year old, official adult, new civilian, I look towards the future and think, "Where will I be in ten years?"
It's good to ask these questions, to have long-term life goals. I hated them in school because I had no clue.
To this day I have no clue.

I wonder if anyone does.

And now that I'm married and living with my spouse I don't look at my future as just mine anymore. It's "our" future. Everything about his life will affect mine in one way or another.
Where he gets stationed, how long he stays in, promotions...
His life might affect my life more than my life decisions affect it.
So really at this point my life consists of just preparing for worst case scenarios, and praying none of them ever occur.
But there are things that I'm pretty sure will happen between now and ten years.
I will have my master's degree in (hopefully) library science. If not then I will have my BA in Social science and have done some sort of other degree. Because I will use every penny of my Post 9/11 GI Bill. Every Penny. 
I will have children. This is highly likely. Kids are something I've always imagined having in my late twenties. I just don't know how that will end up. I think having kids is scary. Sure, it's a magical process of creating a human life and some women take to it like ducks on water. I feel deep in my soul I will probably not be lucky enough to be one of those women. I think of having children and all I can think of is everything that could go wrong.
Though it could be because I'm not ready to have kids yet. My husband is not ready to have kids yet. If we have one, then that's fine, it was meant to be. But we are not mentally prepared to go out of our way to make a baby yet. So maybe my fears associated with that will change as I grow.

 In ten years, if my husband has stayed in the service till then he would have been in for 17 years! That means we're a skip and a hop from him retiring. Which is crazy for someone who is 35 to be thinking about. But that's only if the military doesn't try and change that before then. Either way, that's 17 years of service, we'll be looking at where we want to permanently settle to live out our lives. Deciding on whether we want to design and build our own house or buy one and remodel the crap out of it! That's some exciting stuff to think about.

Either way, I look forward to seeing where I end up in ten years, and looking back on my thoughts from now and chuckling at them the same way I do at my thoughts as a 15 year old.

I don't dread getting older. I think I've come to embrace the thought of it. I look at my in-laws and my parents and their lives have only gotten better with age. And they're not even old! So I guess my idea of being "old" might have become older than most's. And I'm okay with that. I plan on being around and doing things for a long time with my spouse.

Until then I'm just chilling in the uncertainty of the present, trying to figure out what dinner is going to be, and if my enrollment for school will work out okay.
But here is what I could look like as an old lady: I sort of look like my grandma. Which is awesome, because she is an amazing woman.

Busy bee.

Well, it's August now. The month of my birthday and wedding anniversary. So I'm pretty excited for all that. But I'll save it for another post.

 My DMO (Distribution Management Office) shipment arrived. I think I mentioned it before(?). But it came a few days early, so I was extremely pleased. So of course I immediately started unpacking everything and trying to find places for it.




<<<That's my 34 packages. They wrapped everything. Even my seabags and bookshelves.

Nothing was broken or damaged!! Yay!! Super happy!

As I was unpacking I came across a little package that was just labeled as "Pin"
I was very confused, so I opened it.

I felt 'something' in my heart, just a bit when I unwrapped it's many folds and it was my corporal chevron.
All that wrapping, and such care for a "Pin". I was a bit touched.

That rank was something I carried for half my time in the service. At one point it meant  a lot to me.
But so much occurred that everything I wanted to do sort of always just fell apart. I don't think I was a bad NCO, and I know I was far from being 'the greatest'. But I actually took pride in the fact I was a Corporal. I wish it would have meant more to the rest of the Corps. They only want to you be an NCO when it's convenient. Otherwise it's preferred you just be a friend, or a good follower.
*Ahem*
Not even going to get into trying to express my thoughts on all of that.
We'll just leave it at the sense of how I might miss certain things about my previous lifestyle, and I did not leave the service without a number of regrets. (Many of which I lose sleep over)
But I've decided not to focus on that anymore, and to just look towards a better future!

So onward!

Our basement is now a complete disaster. Though I bet children would have a ton of fun playing in it.
And this is not even it's final form. I'm pretty sure you can barely see that door in the back now. There is more boxes and paper, and more to come, I'm sure.
I don't want to just throw away everything. The paper is in perfect condition still, and the boxes are pristine. I have no idea what to do with them though! If I had kids they'd be the luckiest ever because they'd be getting some sweet box forts or something. But for now I'm gonna fold them all up and try to save them. Never know when you'll need some huge boxes.


On top of all the unpacking I've been enjoying my time in the kitchen too. So has my husband. Though our bank account reflects the inner pain of how sometimes enjoying good food can be pricey. our grocery bill might be beyond what it needs to be. But we eat all the food, and I think our simple but fun dishes are worth it. Especially when you take into account all I've had is chowhall food mostly.

I even got a bit stereotypical and enjoyed some flavored water that is all the rage on Pinterest nowadays.
Orange Blueberry water. It was super tasty! Though I drink a ridiculous amount of water everyday. So a jarful only lasts a few minutes around me.  I would need a whole case of jars to survive a day. So it was more of a treat than anything I guess.
I reused the berries and orange slices multiple times, they held a lot of flavor. Though I didn't taste much of the blueberries. It was mostly orange.
If I was to make a habit out of enjoying flavored water everyday I'd have to save it for just meals or relaxing time. I did enjoy not drinking just plain water for once, but using fruit at that rate isn't something I should do often. Fruit isn't cheap around here.

 I'm feeling a bit not up to going through all the crazy steps to rotate this picture on google. So we'll all just rotate our faces and see this delicious creation. We were going to have BBQ chicken pizza, but decided that BBQ Chicken Crescent Pizza rolls would be awesome too. We ate all of them. They were way too good.

 The hubs had Gatewatch on Friday, so I didn't see him till Saturday (Gatewatch is exactly what it sounds like. You sit at the front gate and check people's ID's and watch the area. You are only there from open to close, but the shift is 24 hours because then you stay overnight for base security). It's really lame, and probably pointless. But I wanted him to have something to look forward too when coming home, other than just looking forward to coming home. So I decided to try my own hand at some form of crepes.

These aren't overly beautiful or anything. Not sure if they are even technically considered true crepes.

 But they were super delicious!! We've had them twice now, maybe three times. Usually we just spread some creme cheese on them with some fruit, or peanut butter and fruit. They are magical. We definitely over-ate the first time we had them. We're slowly learning control when it comes to delicious meals. (hahaha!)

Our most recent kitchen en devour was curry.
I cannot express how excited I was when I found multiple Asian markets in our area and they carry a lot of interesting things. We've only been to one so far, and it carried the curry cubes I wanted. I'm sure nothing will compare to actually having curry in Japan. But this stuff was pretty darn good! Though we bought hot and extremely hot, but to me, they taste more like extremely mild. So next time gonna spice it up myself, maybe build up a coco's spicy sweat. :P
It was a very thick sauce though, and we had beef cubes, carrots, onions, and potatoes in it. When making it I felt like I was making stew, and then turned it into curry.

I want Yakiniku and Gyudon with all my heart though. I like to whisper it at night in bed before falling asleep, so maybe my husband will dream of meat and want it as bad as I do too. (He just thinks I'm really weird at the moment)

Housewife.

Well, my end of active service was officially a week ago. I found it a bit ironic that on my last day of active duty I ended up spending how I normally spent days off work; ate breakfast, went for a mile run, lounged and watched anime.

Biggest difference: I did it all with my husband.

Convincing him to run is always my biggest challenge of the day. :P
I enjoy running. I hated doing it for the military. But doing it for me is another matter.

But there hasn't been a huge paradigm shift yet. I'm still Cpl Morris in my mind. I still view things through the eyes of a Marine. I mean after years of being trained to do so, I suppose you don't just turn off Marine thinking in a week. And honestly part of me doesn't want to. If anything I'm still going to continue to better myself. That was the whole point of the military, wasn't it?
Besides I wanted money for college (Everyone pretty much wants that). 

I'm really happy that I get to enjoy a 'normal' married life now. Though not sure how normal any marriage really is. But we're not separated is the point here.

What I find interesting is how difficult it is for us to act like we're going to be living together always from now on. We have a tendency to still treat our time together like it's just a week visit. I'm sure eventually we'll figure out that I'm actually living here now an get into our groove of doing things. But for now I suppose we'll enjoy it.

After he takes his service wide exam (for promotions) we're gonna start working on our learning Japanese. I bought a bunch of stuff while I was in Japan. So I'm looking forward to that a lot. Being able to read and understand Japanese is something I've always wanted to do.

As an admin person at the Coast Guard unit said pointedly to me, "You're still affiliated with the reserves."
-_- And my dislike for her skyrocketed. Mainly because she just rubbed me the wrong way from the start. And her hair was INSANE. It's like she put it up a few weeks ago and hasn't bothered with it since.
And there's that Marine mindset again.

I'm still going to workout, now that I'm a civilian. Even dragging my other half into it with me. He doesn't really have any requirement to other than own personal interest. But I think he feels guilty if I'm doing it and he isn't. So Monday, Wednesday and Fridays he will actually be using his hour allotment for physical training and coming to join me.
(Three days a week he can leave work an hour early and he hasn't been. He stays there and works. What a motivator. I would be out the door in a heartbeat.)

But I'm spending the rest of my day....being a housewife?
I get up with the hubs in the morning (which is anytime between 0630 and 0700, depending on his snooze times), I am trying to get dressed every morning now. I discovered that if I stay in Pajamas that after he leaves for work at 0730 I sit around lounging and normally fall back asleep till 10. Which is a waste of a morning. Regardless of the fact I never fall asleep till around 1 a.m.
Drink some coffee with him, maybe have breakfast, make a list of things for the day to do.
Then attempt to accomplish them all.
I get sidetracked easily, I get bored. I remember more things to do, and do those things first. And so the list grows.
I do some cleaning everyday. I prep dinner, which we decide on either the night before or that morning.
laundry, dishes, VA paperwork and so on.
I'm really a friggin' housewife.

...I'm even wearing an apron right now...
0__o
I was cleaning earlier and I wear one when I clean or do crafts (crafts is next after this post).
But never thought I'd be a housewife.
Never thought I'd be married either, so life is full of plot twists.

I have a whole list of topics I plan on going over in posts. So that's nice. I have a plan for this!
As well as school starting in September. Exciting stuff.

I had planned on discussing more of my relationship in this post, but I sort of covered it in a nice way. I'm not going to pour my soul out of how much I care for my husband. I'm married to him, and we've been together for five years. I think that says it all right there. But this more was about the dynamic of my new lifestyle and how the relationship is now different from how it's been the entire time.
And I can't be more happier.

Recently free.

Well, so much for those regular postings. Should have done them every other week so they would have lasted longer. :P

No project this week, just some thoughts. I've had a lot of life changes recently.
I moved back to the United States. Spent some time in California at Camp Pendleton for outprocessing.
Collected my DD214.
Moved to CT, where my husband is.
Helped him finish moving apartments, before he left for two weeks of training.

Did I mentioned I got my DD214?
For the non-military folks out there, that is one of the most important documents a servicemember will ever recieve from the government. You recieve it at the end of your contract, it is your one and only proof that you are no longer in the military, and under what honor you got out under.
So here I am, taking my first steps back into the civilian world.
I'm technically still active duty, until July 20th. Then I'll be in the inactive ready reserve (IRR). So I do nothing military, but I'm still on call.

Four and half years of being in the Marine Corps....It's crazy to think about. And since I've had nothing but free time recently, I've done a lot of reflection.

There are things I am going to miss about the military. Quite a few actually.
There are more things I won't miss though, hence why I didn't stay in the military.
I've done enough complaining and ranting in the past four years that I won't start that up here.
I suppose I'm really just feeling weird.
My first several weeks at bootcamp I felt like the whole thing was a bad dream. None of it felt real. I honestly expected to wake up at any moment. And here I am, reliving that feeling. It's so different from what I've been living the past handful of years that it feels surreal. I haven't accepted that I've entered a new stage of my life.
Probably because it scares me. I joined the military for a hundred different reasons. One of the big ones was that I felt trapped in my current life and it was an escape. It was a life changing learning process.
I don't know if I regret doing it or not. There are a lot of things I lost and missed out on while I was active duty. But the things I've done, and seen, and learned are great themselves.
One of the biggest things I got out of the Marine Corps was learning about myself. I was forced into situations and my actions and reactions taught me things I never knew...about who I am and how I view/do things.
Everyone has a self image in their head, of how they are, and how they want to be viewed.
I did, but it was conflicting, going back and forth. I didn't really know myself.
And now I know myself a little bit better.
There are a lot of things I could have done better and excelled more at.
But honestly, there were a lot of times when I didn't want to. There were times where I knew I could be strong, but I chose to be weak, and there were times where I did my best to be as strong as possible and I crumbled.
There were times when I knew I was being a failure, but I'd rather play it off as "I don't care" attitude then admit my own struggles with things I wish I had a natural affinity for, because I can't bring myself to change who I am fundamentally.
But I stayed true to myself, and my personal feelings and beliefs. I didn't try to become something I'm not. Even though I would pretend.
And whether anyone will ever truly grasp this, but I did care.
I cared about a lot of things more than anyone who ever worked with me will ever know.
I would think the greatest thing I learned, the greatest gift the Marine Corps could have taught me:

I like me.

It took me quite a while to come to this realization, and I went through a lot of struggles dealing with an image of a person I was trying to become. And I realized why I couldn't, because I actually like who I am. (Or at least a majority of myself)
A lot of people have issues accepting who they are, or trying to be something, or someone else. I can't do that.
Honestly, I'll never know what those who I worked for thought of me, or what those who worked for me thought of me. I set some pretty poor examples of leadership sometimes, but I also had times where I felt like I kicked ass at my job.

A SSgt once said at a NCO Call (Non-commisioned officer's get together and have discussions about things). "Some of the worst moments in your military career turn out to be some of your best memories."
While I don't think this is true, there is some truth to the statement. The hardships I went through, I can look back on the fact I still did it, I can talk about it with an attitude of ease. The people who where there, or weren't there but did the same thing share that understanding with me.
It's hard to explain in writing I just realized. But after the shit is done and over with, it's another memory, another experience. For Marines the crap you go through brings you together and tightens your bonds to each other (I think its why they drag us through it sometimes).

My time as active duty is over, now I have to focus on the anxieties of "real" life.
College, finding a job, affording things, having a place to live.
But in the same sense, I know after my time in the Corps, I can probably tackle any challenge.

Letter Writer

Cute stationary I've bought in Japan (From the Daiso).

Before I joined the military I honestly can't think of when I wrote a letter. With social media, e-mail, text messaging and so on there was never a need. I mean, most teens probably keep blogs now instead of diaries.
But when I joined I spent three months in Boot Camp. The only contact with the outside world we were allowed to have was letters.
And so it began. I wrote religiously in Boot Camp, to everyone I knew, pretty much. I would write on anything I could find, and during whatever time I could sneak and do so.
Once I graduated and I moved onto Combat training, and from there I went to my first duty station in North Carolina I continued to write. I found I enjoyed it. Taking time out of my day to sit and really think about what I wanted to say to my family, reflect on recent happenings in my life. Granted getting my family to write back only happened occasionally, except for when it came to my Grandparents, and my elderly neighbor whom I've known forever (and then later on my mother-in-law). I would say that I keep in touch with my Grandma, Mother in-law and neighbor now more than I do my parents.
Recently even one of my old friends from high school has even started writing me. We went over five years without talking to each other, in person or online. And now we write several times a month. It's amazing.
My mother in-law, Evelyn, is big int arts and crafts. She makes me cards that are incredible.

 Here is just a sample of some of the cards she's made me, that I still have. They're so nice, and pretty much works of art. She custom makes them all for her friends and family.

It definitely gives me the motivation to keep writing, because to receive these and not use them would be a crime.

Her and I write a lot, and she'll send me post cards from places she's at when her and her husband travel. My Husband never writes, and a lot of family doesn't either, so she's always stoked that I do. It's touching. :)









Well, eventually I started accumulating tons of mail, because what do you do with letters after you've read and replied to them? I'd hate to throw them away. So I went to Micheal's and bought a sweet box that looks like a suit case, and I keep all my handmaid cards, stationary, and received letters in it now. It's gotten quite full. Not sure what I'll do when it fills up. I can't just have boxes and boxes of letters sitting around.
I need to come up with a crafts idea for all these...

Well, sometimes I decide I want to do some mail-art as well. I'll occasionally make my own crappy cards, and decorate the envelopes.

Example of most recent envelope decorating here. This is for one of my friends who adores Attack on Titan as much as I do (If not more).
I've definitely gotten out of the habit of drawing as much as I used to. It takes a lot of time, and patience, and doing and re-doing. I don't feel as if I have any of those things much. But sometimes I create pictures and find myself pleased with them. :)

This is one of those times.

I crack myself up. Quite a bit.

The top part of this envelope was inspired by the cards below that I received in the mail recently. 

I received four cards in the mail from a site called Eggpress as part of their Write_On campaign to bring letter writing back. Unfortunately I discovered the campaign at the end of the month. So I didn't participate in it the whole month. But they still sent me some free stationary. I used two of them already. The pink one had an orange version as well, and the blue one had a green version.
The design is simple and the idea behind the campaign is simple, but simple can go a long way.

I've been adamantly writing letters for almost five years now. I've become closer with people more than I would have through simple social media, or writing e-mails weekly. Those things work well for some, but using Facebook all the time to talk to people you become detached from the fact you haven't seen these people in forever. It doesn't occur to you that you haven't actually talked to them personally.  You've posted a status, they posted a status. You then each commented and liked said status.
But if someone doesn't have that sort of media, do you just write them out of your life? Do you call them more often? Do you keep in touch at all?
I do through my letter writing.
I have times where writing can seem like a chore, but keeping in touch and putting thought into what you're doing does take time, and its easy to just put off for months at a time (And typing is so much faster and gives you less hand cramps than writing).
But I don't think letter writing should become a lost art.
So Write_On internet.
Keep in touch.
:)

Happiness Tracker

A while back I bought this case of Mason Jars from the Commissary. And I've hardly used them. It was a deal, and they had so many, and I couldn't resist. Mainly because I will use them. I promise.

Well, in my life I feel like I have a lot of negativity. Being in the Marine Corps can often make you feel that way. And I feel as if every year all I can focus on is the negative things, it becomes more difficult to remember the good times that happened throughout the year, because the bad days stick with me more vividly.

I saw a post on Pinterest (my #1 way of wasting time) about a Happiness Jar. Essentially when something good happens, or something that brightens you, whether it be an event, moment or conversation, you simply write it down and put it in the jar. At the end of the year you now have a whole jar full of all the good things that happened to you.
I saw this as a great opportunity to focus on the positive things that occur around me. So I set aside a jar, wrote down some positive things that already happened this year.
And....decided I wanted to decorate my jar.
I'm by no means any sort of decorating expert, but do have an abundance of random craft materials I've slowly collected throughout my time in the military. So I figured I could for sure find some stuff to glue onto this jar. 

 And I did.
This is fabric I found a while back at Tokai Heart, the cute ribbon is from the Daiso. I ironed the fabric, and hot glued it on. For the seams I just folded them under and ironed them.
The Ribbon is crocheted, but I don't know what else to call it than "Ribbon". I just glued a piece of it around the jar, and then glued a bow together and stuck it on.

I decided this was cute.

But I wanted to do more.

I have seen a lot of posts about putting glitter inside or on the outside of mason jars, and I agree, they look fabulous. However, all these DIY's call for mod podge, or something similar that I do not own, and I wasn't going to make a special trip to see if maybe I could find it somewhere near where I live.

Sooo....I used clear fingernail polish. (I'm not joking)
I just dumped enough to almost cover the bottom of the jar, and then I indiscriminately dumped a bunch of brown glitter, and some gold glitter in it. I sacrificed a sponge that I had so I could mix it and smear it around the bottom of the jar and up the sides below the cloth.
I also smeared some around the top of the jar above the cloth, but not nearly as much.

 So I sat that under a fan and decided to paint the lid. I just wiped down the outside to remove any dust of dirt, and took some brown acrylic paint, mixed it with a random amount of silver and painted the lid.


So I wanted to add some bling onto my jar, instead of keeping it just the simple design.




 This is a necklace I've had for around 5 years, maybe. I don't wear it anymore because it's reached the point in its lifespan where it turns my skin green if I sweat while wearing it (I also think the toddler who slobbered on it multiple times while babysitting didn't help either. XD). 
So I glued the bling portion just under the bow, and the rest of the chain I decided to glue around the lid, and leave the excess hanging down.
THAT WAS SUCH A PAIN!
Hot glue is not meant for everything, and honestly I forgot I had super glue (which I don't think would have worked well either) and rubber cement (not sure how that would have went)
But I managed to finally glue it on in a way that it stays, and it won't fall off every time I open the jar. Definitely a trail and error process.

Lastly, I wanted to add something to the top of the lid. I was at the point where if I saw something I wanted to glue on, I was considering just sticking it on. I mean, it's a happiness jar, it should contribute to my happiness, right? XD
So I have a ton of colored glass pebbles, (I use them to play a really nerdy game called Three Dragon Ante) and I have a TON of them. So I selected some and just arranged them in a way where the lid was mostly covered, and then I glued them on.

My jar is complete!! (For now~ >:D)

Newbie Painter

Well, look at this, it's almost like I'm a regular updater.
Except we all know I'm not, so I must have scheduled these after saving up posts.
D: I know, it's almost like betrayal.

But, to the topic at hand.
So ages ago (last year) I had a room mate who is in the Army. Which was pretty awesome, considering how sick of Marines I get at times. But she was HUGE into thrift store stuff. And out in town here there are some pretty neat thrift stores. She'd always find the coolest things there. I was always jealous of her skills. It was like she secretly knew when there was going to be awesome stuff there.
Well she came back to the room one day with this picture she had bought.

 She knew I was into art, and crafts. She'd seen some of the things I had worked on. And so she asked if I would paint it for her. She even offered to pay me.
Like woah. I have dabbled in painting. At least I call it dabbling in painting. I just paint things to see how paint works and to learn. And by painting things, I mean nothing huge, because I always lose interest and forget to come back to it (Hence the previous post, that pillow is STILL not done).
Well I said I would, and I wouldn't charge, because I'm no pro. I dabble in everything that I do.

So I had some paints, but I needed more, and I needed to decide on colors, and think of how I was going to do this, because, yes, that is wood I would be painting on.
And I had to look up how flowers look.
I bought some paint from the Daiso (yes, I bought dollar paint, and its amazing). I worked on this for a few days.
Now granted, it took me MONTHS to start working on it. Mainly because I'm a procrastinator, but also because of how nervous I was.
Well it was getting close to Christmas, and during December I was going to Guam for exercise Forager Fury, and after that I was going on leave for a few weeks AND in January my roommate was PCS-ing. (She wasn't my roommate by then, she had moved to another room, but we were still friends)

So I wanted to give her what she had requested, and I figured it had to be before Guam or never.

Well I must say I am super proud of myself. She really liked it. I went with pink flowers because I love Cherry Blossoms and anything that makes me think of them. :D The background is blue shiny paint I got at the Daiso. My biggest issue was figuring out how to paint the background and it not look like a mess. I definitely had a lot of issues, and moments of panic during that time. But the rest of it was just remaining focused and remembering painting techniques I had learned through trail and error.
The way the design was carved in helped a lot, because on top of the shading I did the wood itself enhanced it, and probably covered any mistakes I made.
After I was done painting I had to go back through and carefully clean it all up. I had my moments where I said, "Screw it!" and just gobbed paint on, only to regret it ten minutes later.
Patience is a virtue. and it produces great things.

Pillow chair

So I did this a while back, and technically its still something I'm supposed to be working on.
So about a decade ago (Ugh, I can actually say that now and it be true. I hate it, but I use it all the time because it pleases me at the same time) my Mother gave me this sweet pillow chair. Perfect for lounging and reading. And I use it all the time. However, after so many years of use, and falling asleep on and I've taken it with me everywhere in life, it was starting to look really gross. I was at the point where I'd put it away or put blankets and stuff on it when people came around.
But I have never seen another pillow chair so well done, and perfect. That makes me refuse to give it up.
Being the genius I am, I decided that I could just sew new fabric on it. Why not? People reupholster furniture all the time.
So I went to Tokai Heart and made a wild guess at how much fabric I'd need, also taking into account how I'll probably mess up at some point cutting it, so I should get extra.
I also bought a sweet curved needle (and some finger protection). Lastly I bought iron-on fusing web. Which, I'm sure can easily be skipped, but I think it helped a little bit.

I forgot to take pictures of most of this. I was too excited and just started working on it.
But I laid the fabric over the pillow and traced it so it was close in shape. Cut it out, ironed it flat, and I folded the edges under and ironed those down as well.

And then I began just sewing the fabric on around the edges. It was handy that there is the pieces around the pillow, because it hides my stitches pretty well.
I used the iron-on fusing web to hold the fabric on and keep it in place. I laid it on the edges near where I was going to be sewing and ironed the fabric onto it.





So this piece took forever it felt like. My poor fingers were so sore from pushing the needle through so many times. I kept my stitches small and close together, I don't want it coming off or apart easily. Not until I'm ready to replace it again. 







I haven't done the back yet, saving the biggest chore for last. Especially since it'll be a huge piece, and a weird shape.

 So after taking a break for a week or so, I got around to sewing the arm pieces on.
I'm pretty pleased with myself, because I've never done anything like this before. This was just on a whim of trying to save a favorite pillow.

Hair Clip Crafter

Well, definitely been a minute or two...or weeks, since I've been on here. I could never find what I felt was a good enough reason to post. I've definitely done a lot in the past year, but I don't like just doing angry posts, and sadly most of my time when I have time to write I feel angry.


BUT!
Today is not that sort of day.
I set aside time to do crafts. I spent a month in Korea away from all my things, and spent all my time looking at other people's things on Pinterest.
So the project I decided to so is one I've been wanting to do FOREVER. It's pretty easy, but setting aside the time to do anything is a problem I have.
One day when I was out in Japan, shopping, I came across this:

It's a hair clip that looks like a bow! Genius! Well, I bought it, and I wear it most of the time. And I got to thinking to myself. I can make this...

So I went to a nearby Daiso (100 yen store, they're my favorite places to shop. Way better than $1 stores) and I bought a hair clip. I bought my fabric at the nearby crafts store, Tokai Heart. They have baskets of fabric that's left over, or meant for other projects. But works perfectly for me. :D

Other things I needed: 

Glue gun

scissors

clear nail polish

pins (cuz I'm lazy)

And now I'm ready to start!!

 I folded the fabric in half and laid the clip on it to determine the width I'd need, and I cut it slightly wider than the clip is on both sides. You also need to cut a piece to put over the top of the clip too. 

This fabric was already fraying just from me handling it, so I needed to do something about that. 

I don't have a sewing machine here with me, so I use any shortcuts I can. For fraying fabric clear nail polish works wonders.

I just paint around the edges of all my fabric pieces. It's dark fabric so I don't have to worry about it showing much. Lighter fabric you'd have to be more careful.

Measuring the size of the piece that goes over the top of the clip. If you don't want to add this piece I doubt it makes a difference. I've also seen clips where the bow was on top instead of the sides. Maybe I'll try that one day...

 So above is one of the bow I made. I took my fabric and I folded each side in so they met in the middle in the back. From there it is just a matter of bunching the fabric up so it has the look you want. I went with four folds in mine, makes gluing it easier that way.

Folding the pieces back in this way gives the bow some substance, so it's not thin feeling.

 I cut long strips to wrap around the bow. I folded the pieces slightly to get the width I wanted, and its a nice look. I would have done more folds, but I would have needed wider fabric strips. I played around with it for a bit before deciding on this. After that it's a matter of cutting it the length you need to wrap around the center of the bow. I didn't do mine tightly because I wanted my bow to flare out more.
After that I glued the ends of the strip together. So you have a ring, like below. Then sliding the bow through it is easy.

It's cute!

 So you make two bows in that manner.
Now it's time to clue everything to the clip.
I haven't used a glue gun in years, so I forgot how fast hot glue cools. It's a rush against time!

 I glued the center fabric on first. That was the easy part.

 Next I loaded on the glue to put the bow on. I looks all messy here, but I assure you it's not that bad. XD

Since I did four folds for my bow I was able to take the center crease and that's what I ended up pressing into the hot glue.

 Finished Product!
I'll probably buy a smaller clip next time and make smaller ones. But I have so much hair that for now I have to use larger clips.